Oliver Stone’s Snowden, is a film spectacle of the terrifying and secret capabilities of the US government that asks: Where is the oversight? Snowden was charged under the WWI Espionage Act, enacted in 1917, for an act of conscience. Many are grateful and feel he did our country a service. Where do you stand?
Act of conscience or betrayal? More at PardonSnowden.org. Like Spidey’s Uncle says, “With great power, comes great responsibility.” END THE SECRECY.
If Jon Snow were real, he’d say, freedom beats walls!
Even if we hire HBO to build a giant ice wall between us and Mexico, even if we man it with an army of black-cloaked bastards and pardoned criminals. Even then, the wildlings will still find a way to get in. Walls are nothing but a false sense of security. Just ask Jon Snow, or Gary Johnson.
“I have never been supportive of the wall. A 10-foot wall just requires an 11-foot ladder.”
Gary Johnson seems to understand a fundamental and very simple concept. In freedom there is strength, in division there is contention. If we want to be a strong partner with our neighbors to the south, how about we steal their jobs for a change, and simply end the Drug War?
Lassonde Entrepreneurs is a new Million-Dollar Wednesday tradition on Standup Commentary. We will talk with creators, inventors and creative people whose ideas are changing the way we live. As always, dear friends, your commentary is welcome. We’re live, two-way talk radio. (801) 254-5855, Weekdays 6 -8 pm. MST.
Grace Foundry Finds Gravity
Jake with members of The Grace Foundry, a gameified social platform, launched from the Lassonde Entrepreneur Institute at the University of Utah. From left to right, Rajul, Aaron and Conan.
“Innovating games with purpose.”
—The Grace Foundry
The Grace Foundry is an indie game studio embracing shared experiences that bring people closer together through gaming. Here to innovate.
“I knew I wanted to create,” said one of Grace Foundry’s team of network designers and programmers, Aaron Kc Hsu. “Self-discovery is huge.”
Slated for PC-launch February 2017, Finding Gravitybrings cooperative gaming to the virtual world. It’s about games that alter perception of reality to expand the mind. “Why not escape reality with friends,” said Grace Foundry Gameplay and Network Programmer, Conan Zhang. “We want to bring people together in another reality.” Zhang also composes the music.
Finding Gravity is a new game that combines three big ideas: switching gravity, solving puzzles, and (most importantly) applying those two ideas cooperatively with another player. Consider it an invite to overcome obstacles and challenges with friends in a new reality. “We use Unity,” said Grace Foundry Programmer, Rajul Ramchandani. “That’s the great thing about the Internet, you can learn anything.”
Please note: Unity development is free, but you still need to put in the time.
Jake wants to know if the Grace Foundry team should help develop a new version of Pokemon Go based on Tinder called Tinder Go. It would display profiles within 50 yards of a user’s home as part of a ‘stalker package.’ What do you think?
“You don’t have to go to school to learn Unity, it’s completely free,” said Zhang. “We used a free thing to create a product we Kickstarted, and then SteamGreenLit to start a company.” Find game updates on Twitter and Facebook.
“What people value most about the entrepreneur spirit is the ability to do your own thing, and set your own schedule,” said Hsu.”Doing that, you’re not a slave.” Details at Lassonde 400.
Standup Commentary is live talk radio. If you listen regularly, you know we endorse freedom in all forms, shapes. There are no two ways about it, in America freedom really is sexy! Eyes up here ISIS, quit eye-balling our freedoms!
We could talk about this all day long, and once in awhile we’ll win over a Demopublican with a thousand words at a time, but maybe there’s a better way? We live in America where everything from hamburgers to car washes is sold with a slice of sex appeal. Shouldn’t Standup Commentary do the same for presidential politics?
What do terrorists hate? Freedom ringing in our art, our words, and in our souls.
The Libertarian party is a little like that kid who makes it hurt when they make so much sense. Gary Johnson is the hands-down best, most consistent stance on Syria. “Stop replacing bad guys with slightly-less-bad guys.” –Gary Johnson (Nov 2015).
Right now, the Syrian city of Aleppo is a prime example. Both parties continue to arm rebels. This adds more terrorists.
There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly
She swallows a spider to eat the fly, then a cat to eat the spider. Same story in the Middle East, as we arm the freedom fighters, to fight the insurgents, to fight the daesh, we armed the daesh to fight the al qaeda to fight the Russians.
Is this freedom?
This type of foreign policy and madness could end with Governor Gary Johnson and Governor Bill Weld!
For me, that’s enough reason to vote Libertarian in November. If we want to win the War on Terror, let’s stop the bombs, and spread freedom with body paint instead. Together, we can make freedom sexy, which these terrorists hate.
Standup Friday with PigeonShip Founder Jared Overton
“It’s shocking how well it works, and it surprises people every time,” said Jared Overton, founder of PigeonShip, a Utah peer delivery service that connects senders to commuters. Pigeons are people, like you or me. They run errands for earn extra money, delivering packages on the way.
Let’s say you leave your credit card at a Park City bar or restaurant. Using the PigeonShip App, a Pigeon can get it back to you before bed on its way home from work. “Essentially, it’s the future of localized shipping,” said Overton, “we’ve moved into an age where we’re crowdsourcing in every industry.”
PigeonShip redefines same-day delivery. “It’s killer to watch,” said Overton. “Most businesses are released from the traditional confinements of FedEx and UPS.” Think how many extra dollars a Jake Pigeon could earn driving Sandy to Ogden every night.
Every item that gets posted notifies a Pigeon going that way who can accept and deliver packages with no extra effort. Chances are people are traveling in the same direction as your package, so why spend money, gas and time when a Pigeon can pick up and deliver with a click?
Please note, Pigeon deliveries can be habit-forming, so in keeping with the law, and to reduce stress, PidgeonShip deliveries are subject to the same rules and restrictions you’ll find at airports and post offices.
A commute turns into extra income, Overton described, “The price is already low because Pigeons are already headed that way, so it’s extremely efficient.” You can also earn a percentage of delivery from business referrals on top of regular delivery earnings over time. And, Pigeon deliveries are greener than traditional services.
“High quantities of people are willing to pick up and deliver, to fulfill any individual delivery need,” said Overton. “You can pretty much ship whatever you want, and Pigeon drivers have the right to know what’s being delivered.”
Overton painted the picture: “Unlike Uber drivers who just sit and wait full-time, ours is built off an ‘already going there’ idea, putting money back in local pockets.”
Jared’s PigeonShip idea happened on his drive home from St. George in 2012. On his way, he picked up and delivered a set of golf clubs a friend had left behind at the golfcourse. “I love giving drivers an extra $500 to $1000 a month going to and from work, and it saves businesses a ton of money.”
“Who wouldn’t want to make extra money during a regular commute?” said Overton. “The Pigeons are happy, and I’m excited about the future. People are taking us out of state.” With nine years of marketing healthy dark chocolates behind him, Jared could be in the too good to be true business.
Before the show, The Paul Duane contemplated differences between garbage, click-bait and what passes for today’s news. He had an epiphany. The Paul Duane also conveys sincere gratitude for the honor of sitting in that special place between your ears weekday nights.
Paul was outraged to learn Vanilla Ice will appear on Singing with the Stars, as reported by the Washington Post.
Do you ever wonder why the news seems compelled to report every skinned knee from all of Smalltown, USA? It would be nice if they gave us what really mattered, and some pretty pictures. Paul realized Vanilla’s imminent appearance is exactly that, at which point The “Cosmic Serpent” showed up, and took up song.
“Its unfair Vanilla Ice will be on there,” said The Paul, to which The Cosmic Serpent cackled in reply, “It’s like Hillary Clinton in a stupid contest.”
Today’s biggest conspiracy is Aluminum because the government knows we need foil for the hats. It’s too bad heads don’t fit in soup cans. Coffee cans might do if it weren’t for the size of Jake’s head.
What about football players who won’t stand for the Anthem, or Brittany Spears who’s back to her old self? Is this stuff news or entertainment?
When Fast-Food Isn’t Fast Enough
It makes Jake sick when people judge public breast-feeding. “Hungry husbands neither need nor want the criticism, ” he said. Sometimes, dear Standup Commentators, “fast-food just isn’t fast enough.”
People are obsessed by other people, especially when it comes to public breastfeeding, according to Jake. Husbands neither appreciate nor need your judgement. Milk is milk; you don’t judge it. Human milk disgusts people, but for some reason, cow’s milk doesn’t.
Ron called to express his natural tendency to look at breastfeeders. Long-story short, if you’re going to eat in front of everyone, be prepared to provide a line of milk-filled sacrament cups.
“Human milk is a little sweet, and quite delightful,” Jake said. “We should do a Titsie Challenge, or a baby taste test to show what 8 out of 10 babies prefer.” Where do you stand on the issue of public breasts?
Dave’s kids pray Trump takes office, but he respects natural differences. What do we do when our children think differently than us. “I’ll love my children no matter what,” he said. “I respect my child’s opinion.”
Natural Selection Matters
Jake’s tired of people going to the ER, only to be fixed up and released so they can reproduce. ObamaCare blows it again, allowing idiots to reproduce like a shotgun and a beer parade of sperm. Natural Selection matters, so close down the ERs.
There should only be two questions at the Emergency Room, “Did you do it, and were you responsible?” The Cosmic Serpent proposed the following Policy: Give us your nuts, and we’ll help you out. Quit spitting on Darwin’s grave.
“Just feel the Johnson,” Quade rang in to say. David responded by announcing his intent to surround his home with a Trump Wall of signs. All signs are manufactured in China who paid the bill.
Why is it Quade and Duane are never in the same room? It’s curious.
Dogs or Aliens?
Are dogs aliens? What’s your opinion?
Where do they think their people go all day? I’ve noticed dogs tend to act irrationally.
Russians picked up a signal from a star, HD164595, 94 lightyears from Earth reported KSL. This can’t be a drill because KSL hasn’t been funny in their entire lifetime. Paul Duane mentioned some astronomers point out low-Earth orbit is a demolition derby of satellites.
Early reports suggest no nipple oppression on HD164595, and everyone shares bathrooms with no peekaboo gaps between door and frame. It is also rumored a neighboring Neptune-like planet is inhabited by a race of super-sexy sunbathing aliens who live in perfectly tiny suits all-day long. Case from Pluto author Allen Boyle said, “The signal conceivably fits the profile of an intentional transmission from an extraterrestrial source.”
The script is coming.
Sometimes Jakes likes to look over and stare in anger at circumcisions, screaming, “How dare you do that to your penis.” He says, its his favorite place for direct, unbending eye-contact. He also noted how it’s funny people avoid fighting when their pants are down.
Are your hands full?
Cosmic Serpent is down to join the Illuminati. What about you? The Paul Duane insists they don’t exist. It was suggested a Trump Wall is likely the best way to keep undesirables out.
Jake read the Illuminati supports preservation of the human race, but they don’t think we can handle freedom cuz the football player we keep hearing about isn’t doing freedom the right way.
“If you are willing to sell your soul, your soul is not yet worth enough to sell. There is no requirement to sell one’s soul to join our organization, as if such a thing were possible. In return for their loyalty, our members are presented with life of limitless wealth and opportunity, the shackles of hardship are removed without earthly distractions.” (Illuminatium)
At which point, once again, the studio blew up. An unconfrmed Illuminati representative named Louie showed up, and smacked Jake around for saying the word, Illuminati, too much. “Monica Lewinsky lip-service is okay,” he said, “but find happiness on your own.”
Louie also advised our needy radio hosts, to “Walk them yourself, if want that second set of foot prints.”
People shouldn’t get plastic surgery to look like Jesus because you don’t want to be mistaken. “Don’t blow smoke up my long day, ” said Jake.
Illuminati Pick-Ups | The Art of “The Neg”
When it comes to romance, don’t put the girl on a pedestal. It’s not sexy. Stop kissing butt all the time. “The Neg” is like a compliment and insult all together.
Example: “Nice shoes, they remind me of my little sister.” Remember, Ms. Piggy was always hot for Kermit.
The Paul Duane thinks the athlete who refused to stand for our national Anthem is a good American. Concerned Citizen says, he didn’t serve time as a taxpayer to pay for needless wars.
Paid Patriotism from Taxpayers
According to a Congressional Report, “The DOD has spent 53 million on sports advertising and marketing contracts with sports teams from 2012 to 2014,” Jake said. “The war machine is on fire at football stadiums, cashing our checks for war mongering.”
We see a media reporting about an athlete who exercises their right not to stand during the Anthem. “Remember it’s about capitalism, not patriotism when you watch FOX news,” opined The Cosmic Serpent.
We need Break-Up Sex with England. Press Passes to Utah’s ComicCon in hand, Jake said, “I want to get to the point where people pay $250 for a photo with me.”
Standup for guest, Utah Libertarian Party Chairman, Andrew McCullough. He’s also running for Utah Attorney General.
It could be true Cincinnati Zoo closed its Twitter account due to an influx of insensitive Harambe memes. The rumor started after the beloved simian was discovered in possession of secret Hillary emails. Jake’s six year-old politico son says, “Hillary is a liar, and Trump’s wall is a good idea.” He was warmly congratulated, and confined to quarters for the rest of the night.
There’s a war on poverty, but we’re losing, especially at 2nd South and the Homeless Shelter. Thoughts?
Jake’s Bender Peeve
“Pullover after an accident—it’s ridiculous when people sit in their cars afterward,” said The Cosmic Serpent. “It’s like they’re waiting for CSI to help them figure it out.”
“There’s too much cheese in this country, a weapon of mass destruction in the right digestive tract,” an intrepid caller stated. “Cheese is milk gone bad, but curds are being used to fight ISIS in Syria because it’s a calm, filling antidote to diarrhea.”
Standup Commentary means everything is fair game. Share your comments next show, at 801-254-5855.
Why is the office called Attorney General, not General Attorney?
“In a real sense, the Attorney General’s office is the chief attorney in the state,” said McCullough. “The office handles Utah’s legal issues, and has a great deal to say on how justice works in Utah.” McCullough identified Mark Shurtliff‘s Attorney’s General’s office as a version of the State’s “top cop.”
McCullough attended Brigham Young University, sporting a mustache only a shadow of his now fabulous beard. He went to law school at the evil university up north.
Andy is a character whose unique color speaks for itself. His legal offices sit above Dr. John’s Lingerie and Novelty Boutique, in Midvale. He’s a legal heavy in Utah’s adult industry, and a delightful guest. When asked, McCullough stated his number-one issue is the legalization of Marijuana. “A life can be ruined over a thimbleful,” he said. “But why is this a police goal?”
Jake commented, “This is asinine,” at which point he became thrilled to be saying the word, asinine, which means extremely stupid or foolish.
Concerned Citizencalled in for a therapy session, saying “Colorado is cleaning up, and we’re incarcerating people. We need to legalize Marijuana in this country.”
McCullough is a 42-year lawyer who discovered the reason for doing what he does after church. He received a call about a friend who had been arrested for not signaling a lane change. The policemen’s report described, “The lights are on, but no-one is home.” Andy’s friend has cerebral palsy, but she was strip-searched anyway, and then Attorney General, Jan Graham refused settlement. It was a Niagara moment.
As candidate for Attorney General, Graham sent letters asking for campaign contributions. McCullough’s letter inspired him to run as the Libertarian candidate. “When the state hurts someone, they need to pay compensation, ” said McCullough. “The state should pay what’s fair.”
Andrew was the first lawyer to successfully win a wrongful imprisonment suit in Utah. And, his fabulous beard is a testament to an award-winning tradition that started at University of Utah’s S. J. Quinney College of Law. “If I’m elected it won’t be because someone bought it for me,” said McCullough.
Do Utah monopolies on wines and spirits work?
“The state is the only one who can sell these things, but they don’t want to. They’d be offended making a million dollars from booze,” said McCullough.”They make it hard, and it’s the stupidest thing. If you don’t want to sell something, you shouldn’t.”
Characterizing the current Utah Attorney General’s office, “It should defend the rights of people, not State interests,” said Andrew. “Lots of things need to change. We need to turn drug enforcement efforts toward those who make others dependent.”
As a member of the First Amendment Lawyers Association, “I’m not for censorship,” said McCullough. “We do society a disservice when we shut down free speech. I will not defend the unlawful actions of State employees, and I will not encourage the State to throw great resources into lost causes.”
What about massage laws?
“Common sense says, massage therapy laws need to change,” said McCullough.
Jake’s final thought, “Everything Andy defends is what Utah hates, and that’s why he gets my vote.”
Today’s Million Dollar Idea
“You don’t have to be mean, or hateful, to make your legal position,” said McCullough. “The idea of the State coming down on what we smoke, our personal things, or who we love offends me terribly. If I were Attorney General, Utah would be more free.”
Heads-up Standup Commentators, for the best Jake and Duane, use the FREE K-TALK app on a smartphone, not a Hillary or Trump device. Also, please know dear friends, Jake resists historical education on Thursdays.
From local FOX 13. BYU relaxed its Honor Code policies in response to protests. Result: “You don’t have to got to church, but you’d better act like it,” said Jake. This change is only applicable to main campus attendees because the law school is there.
Standup Jake: “Forcing others to do things, or think in certain ways, destroys society.”
Tony Perkins, president of Family Research Council believes natural disasters are caused by the existence of gay people. Tony’s house was recently destroyed in such a disaster. Does this mean Tony has tendencies?
DEFCON NERD | Guest Scott Jarvie, Photographer
Rio has the Olympics, but Salt Lake City has the Photography Decathlon, September 23-24.Founder and Mormon temple photo-takin’ Scott Jarvie, warmly invited all-comers to SLC’s one and only, collaborative photography competition, Photography Decathlon.
Deca, which means ten, introduces ten competitive photographic style categories in the bout. “It’s an amazing race that goes a little crazy, mixed with a Tough Mudder,Ragnar team-thing,” said Jarvie, “You don’t have to run, just take pictures.”
According to Jake, an award-winning Decathlon participant, “September’s Decathlon is the first legit competition, and all photographers are welcome.”
“It’s diversity of photography styles,” said Jarvie.
Jake: South Park isn’t dogma, is it? Should a Cliches and Cultural Appropriations category be added to this year’s Photography Decathlon? What do you think?
And, does a beard make you a man? Does the Mission ever truly end?
Reality Check: Natural Selection is always worthy digression.
Regarding Decathlon questions on the Street Photography category, “Life in all of its aspects, not just human life, anything that exists in that area is fair game,” said Jarvie. “Photography doesn’t have to be a living, it can be art.”
“The challenge is, you still have to find the shot,” said Jake. “The Photography Decathlon is photography gamefied.”
Providing insight into what started it all, Jarvis added, “It began when photographers got together on Google+, and then it happened in real life in places like Death Valley for a whole week.”
“Pokemon is speed-dating for dorks,” commented Jake. Scott, with 132 Pokemons, has all but ten. “After two years on the road with my thoughts,” said Jarvie, “Photography Decathlon is explore, create, and compete.”
“Olympics for Rio, PhotoDecathlon for the Wasatch Front”
Before the show, Jake advised tonight’s content would be conspiratorial. A cracking, fabulous word that begs to know what’s on the menu. Duane said nothing as he arrived because we didn’t talk. Merriam-Webster’s simple definition of conspiratorial:
Involving a secret plan by two or more people to do something that is harmful or illegal, of or relating to a conspiracy; suggesting that something secret is being shared.
Before we go further, let me introduce myself. Call me DJ Word. No kidding, please do. For lack of a better description, I’m a peripheral co-consiprator, here to help Standup Commentators like you, gain maximum Standup benefits.
Bottom Line Commentary: Get Government out of Tennessee Coffee-bean laws.
Which is to say, Jake only supports total disarmament if both military and law enforcement are included. Duane’s retort was, “Bible throwing beats bullets,” which means holy rollers will be fighting to measure bible sizes. It’s Bible-bashing taken to a new level.
Mexico Conspiracy: U.S. skunks are stealing into Mexico. Trump will make them pay for it.
Hippy Conspiracy: Hippy tribal wars will overrun street corners. Short-shorts are coming back.
JFK Foul-ball Theory: JFK was taken from us by Joe DiMaggio abetted by his wife, Marilyn Monroe. JFK Conspiracy 2: JFK died secretly of syphilis because it makes you crazy. JFK and Jackie: Abraham Zapruder’s film was fake. JFK didn’t die, and was last seen on Jackie Onassis’ yacht.
Take a look, and comment next show, at 801-254-5855.
Voldemort was mentioned, at which point Louie, who may be an Illuminati representative called to comment, “Jake and Duane are on lists, lots of lists.” There was a row in the studio, and we’re not sure what happened. Duane argued the Illuminati organization is well beyond a city government’s ability to manage any type of plan, and therefore, its existence is suspect.
Conspiracy LSD: Purportedly, the U.S. government once released LSD into American subways.
Skywalker Theory: Mark Hamil visited Salt Lake’s Poplar Street Pub where he was harassed by regulars, who greeted him saying, “We don’t like you. Our friends don’t like you.”
At the 12-minute mark, things get strange. Downright awkward.
Jake didn’t remember a commercial change during a show segment. According to Duane, “It felt like a first date when you don’t know what to say, when dinner runs long and you kinda’ want it to be done.”
The word ‘awkward’ is used here repeatedly, to make a point about radio opportunity. When was your last awkward conversational moment? If it was truly awkward, please share it during our next show.
Such awkward moments can be intense, you know? Where do you look when you have nothing to say? As you clock the nearest exit, drawn-out moments feel like fishhooks. You calculate a launch trajectory, hiding your escapist thoughts behind a coy smile. Your hand twitches for your keys, but you reach for your glass to hide it. Tablecloths won’t save you this time.
We’ve all known great hairy, pregnant pauses between last bite and final check. It’s a very special part of dinner, Paul says, “it’s that weird, awkward time.”
There’s relief in talk radio. Stay tuned at AM630. Listen online at our new website, KTALKMedia.com.If you’re wondering why Paul is missing, ask him about that photo, and a Crenshaw piggyback ride next show, 801-254-5855. The reveal is on the way.
Jake comes from a world of awkward silences. Ask him during a live show, weekdays, 6 – 8 PM MST. Such moments are why Jakes loves talk radio, where word vomit can be therapeutic. Jake loves the vacuum of a word-starved moment—it’s irresistible stuff for incurables, like Jake and Duane. Not knowing what to say doesn’t faze them.
The message is simple, “When it comes down to it, it’s okay to believe what you want,” said Paul Duane. “That makes America beautiful.”
Jake completely supports a woman president, but do boobs work?
Finally, dear friends, Jake cares only about how people present their beliefs, not necessarily the beliefs themselves. The only wasted vote, is a vote different than Jake’s.
Jake says, he might cast a vote for Gary Johnson—the only man in the political fight. A superstar underdog in this game of thrones, Johnson is the president sane people should root for, a man with more executive experience than all mainstream opponents combined.
We’d like to know more about Johnson, and why he chose Utah as campaign headquarters. Wouldn’t you?